COLOURLIVING adds Wellness to its in-store offer

COLOURLIVING, the ultimate lifestyle curation brand, has launched a new pop-up store, one with a brief to help stylishly boost the health of high end Hongkongers. 

Set within its three-storey luxury retail space in downtown Wan Chai, this new Wellness Living concept has three distinct strands – special kitchen, customised tea and indoor pool.

Its singular take on the kitchen space has been designed, first and foremost, to make food preparation a fun and engaging experience for the whole family. With high aesthetic standards never compromised in the name of convenience, it’s a carefully-curated culinary enclave with great taste it’s clear mission statement.

Colourliving

As for the chosen tea, the lifestyle brand has opted to incorporate Hong Kong-based Lify’s award-winning brew dispenser brand. As high-tech as it is high-end, this distinctly digital age dispenser delivers superb quality herbal tea perfectly prepared in line with your pre-programmed preferences.

Colourliving

The indoor bathing facility – the evocatively titled Faraway Pool – somehow summons the sheer sensuality of an al fresco immersion, with its luxury KOS tub just the perfect ablution solution for the aspirationally inclined. Mood lighting and submerged shelving are also all available on the added extras menu. 

Colourliving

A fascinating and most welcome addition to COLOURLIVING’S core offerings, Wellness Living takes comfort, style and personal care to a whole new level.

 

Bathing Graces: Bath oils to bless your body with

Ever since personkind first accidentally fell into a forgotten mammoth trap,  the ritual of bathing has been embraced not only as a means of removing the whiff of slightly-dead wooly elephants but also as a serene experience in its own right. Across the centuries, this ever more popular practice has only been enhanced  by the introduction of countless odour-positive bath oils. It’s a practice that continues to this very day, with every season many of the leading skincare brands launching new ways to make your daily dip yet more delightful.

bath oils

One such in-tub treat – J’Adore Shower and Bath Oil –  comes courtesy of French luxury maison Dior and is said to leave you steeped in iconic J’Adore floral notes, while also imparting a delicate sheen to the skin. A similarly floral allure is on offer from British luxury skincare label Bamford’s B Silent Organic Body Oil, while utilises chamomile, lavender and sativa to relax the body and optimise sleep patterns.

bath oils

Looking more firm up body contours, meanwhile, is Brazil-based beauty brand Costa Brazil’s Kaya Jungle Firming Body Oil. Infused with  such rare Amazonian ingredients an antioxidant-rich cacay oil, it promises healthier, firmer skin, but then, don’t they all?

bath oils

Not to be overlooked, Natura Bissé, the much-loved Spanish skincare label, currently with two new premium treatment oils on offer – the energy-boosting Natura Bissé Energizing Dry Oil and the muscle-soothing Natura Bissé Fitness Dry Oil. Bringing up the rear, meanwhile,  London-headquartered Aromatherapy Associates Forest Therapy Bath & Shower Oil incorporates several powerful healing ingredients – notably Andean pink pepper and Macedonian juniper berry – as a way of both nourishing the skin and instilling a sense of deep relaxation.

bath oils

Text: Tenzing Thondup

Fengs to Come: Feng Shui master Thierry Chow, mystic moderniser….

What was it like growing up with a Feng Shui master for a father? Do you feel you were kind of fated to follow in his footsteps?

Having a dad who was a Feng Shui master was my normal. While I was growing up, the furniture was constantly being moved around  or rearranged and, to me, that never seemed strange or out of the ordinary. Once I started hanging out with other kids, though, – ones whose parents were doctors, lawyers or something – that’s when I realised that my family was  a little bit different.Despite that, as a child, I  had no interest in taking up the same vocation.

So, where did your passion lie?

I was very creative and very artistically inclined. I simply loved painting, drawing, fashion design… anything to do with the world of art in fact.And that was what dominated my academic career, right until I  graduated in Fine Arts in Canada.

feng shui

Given your initial disinterest, what ultimately drew you back to Feng Shui?

When I was about 24, I suddenly realised it held a fascination for me. That was when I returned to Hong Kong after graduating. I was also going through something of a rough time emotionally, while the culture shock of returning here after so many years away also sent me reeling.

I really needed something to get me off the bad place I found myself in. One day, I just turned to my dad and said:“Can I learn Feng Shui from you?” It was the result of something of a ‘Eureka’ moment for me and I knew immediately it was the right choice. I also instinctively felt I could integrate my own passion for art and fashion into Feng Shui. Since then, I can honestly say I have never looked back.

Was there any one thing your father taught you that proved particularly transformational?

Studying under my father truly opened my mind. Prior to that, I’d seen his calling as somewhat antiquated. Once I started learning it for myself, though, it changed the way I saw the whole world, giving me an entirely different perspective on life and making realise the endless possibilities that are out there. I knew then that I could never again box myself into some safe little world. It was a real paradigm shifting and I’ll always be grateful to him for that.

 And how did that revelation change the way you saw Feng Shui’s role in the contemporary world?

As it’s such a traditional discipline, many people find it hard to reconcile with modern life. Through my training, though, I came to realise that, essentially, it’s all about the relationship between people and their environment. It teaches us how to arrange the space around ourselves in order that we can truly fulfil our potential, while still optimising our health and wellbeing.

feng shui

What is the best way then to boost your Feng Shui?

A focal point of my Go Lucky Method is that if your space is draining you, there’s something wrong with it. Any environment that makes you feel sluggish – rather than energised – is in need of adjustment. This doesn’t always have to be drastic. It can be as simple as adjusting your lighting or adding a splash of colour. It is, however, often best to replace any needlessly flashy decorations with objects that have personal connection.Rather than opting for an expensive centrepiece, for instance, it might be better to put the focus on a dish your grandmother gave you. Basically, if you have something associated with a positive memory, that’s always the way to go.

For Hong Kong in general, how do you see things going in the Year of the Rat?

For 2020, it’s all about the water and metal elements. This means we can look forward to good things within spheres influenced by such elements.Metal governs thinks likely jewellery and, by extension, finance, while water would relates to drinks, hotels, travel…These, then, are the sectors that will thrive over the next 12 months….

What about the negative things?

Broadly speaking, the past year has been dominated by trauma and heightened emotions. As a consequence, people need to focus on their mental wellbeing. They need to ask themselves what they need to trigger the healing process and restore their positive state, of mind.

With regard to more finite matters. as it is a water-element year, people may want to take more care when it comes their engagement with bodies of water, such as ocean or pools.

feng shui

You’ve just now launched your own proprietary take on Feng Shui – Go Lucky by Thierry Chow…

I always wanted to put a truly modern spin on traditional Feng Shui techniques and beliefs and this fulfil that’s vision. It is an approach that draws heavily on the Go Lucky method,  a very simple series of steps that people can follow in order to get the maximum benefits from their immediate environment. As part of it, Feng Shui consultations and design analysis is also on offer. There are also three different Feng Shui decorations that can be purchased, with each one representing something different and bringing different influences to bear on any given space.

Aside from Feng Shui, you are also known – and admired – for your personal sense of style…

I love fashion and I always have. It’s also something I have always wanted to integrate into my Feng Shui offer. With this in mind, I started attending a lot of fashion events in my professional capacity and tough people how to dress in compliance with the principals of Feng Shui.

feng shui

So Feng Shui has a bearing on fashion?

Absolutely. Feng Shui is all about changing your environment and clothes definitely help shape your demeanour. The five elements used in Feng Shui, as well a yin and yang, all come  from The Book of I Ching, which guides things like birth-chart readings. While it’s not exactly Feng Shui per se, I use it as a means of determining which colours or patterns that can help you balance your will optimise the balance of your chi…

On top of all that, is there anything else on the horizon?

Well I recently worked on new collection with Samuel Kung, the renowned master of jade. I’d already fallen in love with jade and, when I met him, we were both keen to collaborate. Jade and Feng Shui are  actually quite interlinked – it’ a material that absorbs a person’s energy and, as a result, changes colour over time. Looking to build on this, we launched the Samuel Kung x Thierry Chow Jade Collection. Comprising three jade rings and available from Lane Crawford, every item incorporates Feng Shui elements. Our next planned project, however, will be on a far grander scale…

feng shui

Away from all your many commitments, how do you like to relax?

I am a fanatic for anything  spiritual, so I really enjoy reading books on meditation and any that add to my understanding of the wider universe. I also love to meditate and to give free rein to my artistic side – and, of course, some retail therapy always goes down well too.

What is the key item on your bucket list?

Denmark. It’s somewhere I’ve always wanted to visit. Although my husband is Canadian, that’s where his ancestors came from. I’ve seen so many gorgeous photographs of the country and I want to experience it all on a first-hand basis.

Finally, if you could meet any person, past or present…

I’m fascinated with reincarnation, so I would love to be able to meet one of my former selves. In terms of other people though, someone I would love to chat with would be Deepak Chopra, the famous author and renowned expert on alternative medicine. I’d love to be able to pick his brains about wellness techniques and the benefits of meditation.

Thank you.

Text: Tenzing Thondup
Photos: Jack Law

Styling & Art Direction: San Wong
Venue: Hue

Waist-Busters: Don’t let Lunar New Year lunching widen your waistline…

There’s no getting round it – Chinese New Year celebrations are wholly synonymous with indulgence. With countless family dinners and sundry refreshment-heavy reunions looming, the inevitable – and seemingly never-ending – parade of pastries, cornucopia of confectionery and maelstrom of meat could see even the worthiest of wellness aficionados piling on the kilos faster than a pre-grudge match sumo.

With a little bit of pre-planning, however, you can dodge the worst consequences of the festive feasting and ensure that the Year of the Rat doesn’t become your personal Year of the Fat…

wellness

FOOD

  • The 80:20 rule: To maintain a balanced diet, it’s important you opt for healthy food choices 80 percent of the time. With regard to the remaining 20 percent, feel free to indulge to the max (This is not like carbon trading. You can’t, say, inherit your nephew’s 20 percent in exchange for a balloon).
  • Switch ingredients: An easy way to cut back on the calories is to replace refined, processed ingredients with organic alternatives when preparing your Chinese New Year feast. Not only will they have a lower sugar content, you won’t be tempted to eat too many of them as they will taste awful.
  • Smart snacking: To avoid overeating when mealtime rolls around, tuck into small portions of healthy snacks – such as fruits and nuts – in between times. For added convenience, Cadbury’s produces a widely-available Fruit & Nut Bar. While the bite-sized versions can be easily stashed in pockets or sentimental lockets, the bigger bars are best hidden behind slumbering elderly relatives, a solution that combines easy access with maximum deniability.

wellness

FITNESS

  • Get outside: With so many social obligations, you may be tempted to remain inside for the whole of the holiday but force yourself into an extended peramble in the brisk outdoor air. Not only will you burn off a few calories, it will also take you out of reaching distance of the dumpling tray.
  • Maintain regular workouts: The ceaseless feasting may make the widening of your waistline perceivable in real-time. To counter this, try scheduling a workout or two. Or just tell everyone you have, then slip off to watch the new Star Wars unmolested. That’s good too.

wellness

Text: Tenzing Thondup

Staycation Series: Serene spacation at Mandarin Oriental, Macau

At first impression, Mandarin Oriental, Macau, looks somewhat dwarfish in proportion to the other never-ending stretch of hotels that dot the Macau skyline. However, what it lacks in size, it more than makes up for in style. Blending chic modernity with subtle inspirations from the city’s Portuguese legacy, every nook and corner evokes a unique style, that is no doubt soothing to the thousands of globetrotters who enter its premises.

Mandarin Oriental

It is this sense of serenity that pervades to the rooms as well. Thanks to its advantageous waterfront locations, most of the rooms at Mandarin Oriental, Macau, afford views of the bay or the lake. The interiors too are suitably plush with state-of-the-art amenities being enhanced by subtle Oriental design elements. However, it was the personal touches such as a handwritten welcome note, a souvenir bookmark, the refreshing drinks, that really stayed with us.

Personalisation seems to be a key element not just in the rooms, but also in their rightfully acclaimed spa. Awarded by Forbes Travel Guide with a five-star rating for eight consecutive years since 2012, what sets them apart is their plethora of services and bespoke counselling. Upon entering, we were guided to a consultation about what services we would require for alleviating any particular kind of stress. We chose Oriental Essence massage with rose and ylang-ylang oil for a de-stressing experience. As expected, the masseur was skillful enough, but what we appreciated even more was her open communication throughout the process. Guests looking for something steeped in Chinese culture may also choose the Macanese Dragon Experience, a two-hour treatment that combines a stimulating body scrub with lymphatic body massage using “Bao-Ding” meditation balls. For a more Western style of spa experience, choose the two-hour Spices of Portugal treatment that highlights a relaxing head massage using exotic Portuguese spice infusion followed by a gentle cleansing body exfoliation and a soothing hot-stone full body massage with essential oils of ginger, black pepper and rosemary. The spa’s extensive menu has a range of other holistic treatments from deep detox to beauty repairs.

Mandarin Oriental spa

In fact, for guests checking in on 11 December, Mandarin Oriental has a very special spa experience planned, called the Silent Night. As the name suggests, on this one night only, after 5pm there will be no talking and no music within the Group’s spas to instill a sense of peace in the spa users. This initiative aims to promote mental and physical wellness, establishing a healthy and digitally balanced lifestyle for guests.

Suitably pampered, it’s natural for thoughts to turn towards matters more gastronomical. And here too the Mandarin Oriental team far from disappoints. The Painter’s Afternoon Tea at Vida Rica Restaurant and Bar is especially noteworthy for its surprise elements. We won’t spill the beans but expect to have your expectations subverted as your afternoon tea becomes akin to a painter’s canvas, taking you along for an artistic gourmet journey.

Mandarin Oriental

For cocktail connoisseurs, meanwhile, the Vida Rica team presents the Movies and Cocktails nights. Inspired by famous local cinematheque movies directed by local talents, the bartenders prepare such filmy concoctions as Tricycle Thief, Gin, Sake, Margarita and Illegalist. Through the artists’ visions, each cocktail becomes more than a drink, as a cinematic story unfolds on scanning the QR code of the bar menu. And as the evening unfolded, with the delicious degustation menu succeeding the carefully crafted cocktails, we fell more in love with the serene ambience that pervades all experiences at the hotel, despite the high number of weekend guests all around. To borrow the hotel group’s tagline then, we’re now fans.

Text: Suchetana Mukhopadhyay

Introducing: The groundbreaking Dyson Pure Cryptomic purifying fan heater

The electronic experts at Dyson are no strangers to crafting cutting-edge gadgets that address such varying issue as tangled tresses, dust mites and climate control, all to ensure your life is as seamless as possible. Now, in a bid to burnish its reputation further, it has just unveiled its all-new Dyson Pure Cryptomic.

Built as an all-in-one purifying fan heater, the Dyson Pure Cryptomic is fitted with three automatic sensors that measure the indoor air quality in real time. First, there are the lasers that detect ultrafine pollutant particles. Then, there’s a sensor that records relative humidity and temperature in its vicinity. But the most impressive of all is the VOC (Volatile Organic Compound) sensor that can track toxic particles like benzene, nitrogen dioxide and formaldehyde.

Dyson Pure Cryptomic 1

In today’s age of inside living, indoor pollutants are a serious cause for concern. Not only are outdoor toxins introduced when doors and windows are opened, but harmful VOCs can be produced by such innocuous everyday items as plants, domestic heating units and cleaning products. In particular, the Dyson Pure Cryptomic is looking to target one particularly harmful substance found in our daily lives – formaldehyde, a potential carcinogenic commonly found in homes and schoolrooms across the city.

Dyson Pure Cryptomic 23

To cleanse these pollutants, the cutting-edge device comes equipped with 9m of condensed and sealed borosilicate microfibres that can capture almost all ultrafine toxins such as bacteria, pollen and mould. It also features a unique catalytic coating that traps and eradicates formaldehyde, chemically transforming it into harmless water and carbon dioxide. 

Dyson Pure Cryptomic 2

David Hill, Dyson’s Design Lead for Environmental Control, expounded: “Harnessing Dyson’s expertise in chemistry, sensing filtration and fluid dynamics, Dyson Pure Cryptomic machines are engineered to be the total air purification solution for your home – removing ultra-fine particles, odours, gases and destroying formaldehyde, continuously.”

The new HK$6,880 Dyson Pure Cryptomic is available in Hong Kong from 3 October. For more information, please visit: https://shop.dyson.hk

Wellness Watch: We Try Hong Kong’s First Solo Aquabike Studio

With summer nearing its end and outdoor pools and beaches beginning to close, it may seem like aquatic activities will dry out with it. However, those willing to go the extra mile to slim down with a splash will be thrilled to know that a private watery workout exists in Causeway Bay, thanks to Velocity Aquabike Studio.

aquabike

Prior to our visit to Velocity, we had seen brief snaps of the studio across our social media platforms as fellow friends and colleagues displayed themselves peddling away while colourful bubbles swirled around them in a private Jacuzzi. Indeed, Velocity’s Jacuzzis are quite spectacular and resemble massive bathtubs – each one comes housed within a private cabin and gives its user a charming view of the neighbourhood that lies below its 14th-floor windows.

Certainly more modern and much more private than your typical aquacise class, the studio’s staff explained to us how they offer their customers a truly unique way to exercise via water with a French wellness experience where Jacuzzi spa technology is combined with cycling immersed in water. Totally psyched by the concept, we were ready to find out more about the benefits and what to expect during our first aquabike workout session.

aquabike

Now inside the cabin-room waiting for the jacuzzi to be refilled (each tub is refilled with new ozone sterilised water for each user), Velocity’s staff explained further to us what advantages could be expected from our upcoming session. This, we learned, would not just be a typical calorie-burning workout as the Jacuzzis come with many more added benefits such as ozone-infused water to help detoxify the skin, vigorous jets massagers – a whopping 26 of them – to help boost blood and lymphatic circulation.

Eager to put the pedal to the metal, we chose our workout speed – opting for the middle as it was our first time on a jacuzzi bike, but not our first time doing aqua exercises – and then conveniently chose a television show via the bike’s iPad screen to keep us entertained throughout the workout.

aqua bike

During the 30-minute session, we found it’s easy to keep oneself motivated, as the digital screen before us displayed our RPM, number of calories burned and heart rate. About halfway through we opted to decrease the pressure of the jets as they caused a slight itch to our legs and our bottom was noticeably growing sorer from the seat. As the workout came to its end and the screen reported that we had cycled over 14km, we were delighted by how no tenderness appeared to be evident in our legs, something we’re certain we wouldn’t be able to say had we done the same workout on land. However, the next day our derrière appeared slightly bruised, but the discomfort was rather mild and was gone after two nights of sleep.

Thanks to the knowledgeable staff, relaxing environment – and of course – wholly fun and entertaining aquabikes, our experience at Velocity Studio is one we would recommend to those looking for alternative workout regimens and / or those who are not ready to let the summertime water vibes go.

Velocity Aquabike Studio, 14/F, Oliv, 15-21 Sharp Street East, Causeway Bay, (852) 110-44602

Text: Bailey Atkinson

An Elu Exclusive: Inside Central district’s latest luxury spa Elu

Hong Kong is somewhat notorious for its more than fair share of overworked and over-stressed residents, so it’s perhaps no surprise that the city is dotted with salons, spas, etc. – both the high-end and the back-alley varietals – at almost every corner, all equipped to massage, detoxify and ease out the stress from the mind and the body. One new addition to the spa scene is the one-month-old elu. spa, Hong Kong’s latest holistic wellness spa to bring a hidden oasis of calm to Central, with a wealth of services on offer such as 30-minute manicures, waxing services and an impressive menu of massages ranging from sports to aromatherapy.

elu

Whether one is looking to escape the office and spend their lunch hour in luxury, or seeking a therapeutic spot to decompress after their inbox has been emptied at the end of a workday, elu immediately creates a feeling of tranquillity as you enter. Combining Nordic and Scandinavian design ethos, the interiors look minimalistic yet welcoming. The calming neutral colours helps one forget the world outside as you settle down for an hour or so of immersive relaxation.

We decided to try the Ultimate Aromatherapy Experience (60 min) massage. While the massage therapist readied the room, we snacked on biscuits and were treated with a soothing jasmine tea. Finally greeted, we were prompted to choose a foot-scrub as well as an essential oil for the massage and then led to the foot bathing station featuring colonial style window drapes, that allowed just a sliver of natural light and a view of the city below. 

elu

The massage room itself, then, matched the colour scheme and the soothing ambience of the overall spa. For the next hour, we were gently massaged with elu‘s staff’s skilled hands, with our concern areas being given a generous amount of time and care throughout the treatment. Check-ins were regular and communication was never an issue throughout the experience that left us feeling rested and recovered.

Those interested in trying out elu themselves will be happy to know that your first pampering comes at 30 percent off during the spa’s opening months. With facials and couples massages yet to be explored, we’re certainly eager to go back…

elu. spa 7/F, 46 Lyndhurst Terrace, Central, Hong Kong +852 2668 1381

Text: Bailey Atkinson

Tuck In, Tuck Out: Unearthing the benefits of intermittent fasting

Literally everybody – whether they practice it or not – knows that eating right is the best way to stay healthy. But over the last few years, there’s a trend gathering momentum, which advocates that choosing when you eat is as important as what you ingest. Yes, we’re talking about intermittent fasting, perhaps one of the world’s most popular health and fitness trends today.

intermittent fasting 1

So what exactly is intermittent fasting? Simply put, it’s an eating pattern that revolves around alternating periods of fasting and feasting. Given that it doesn’t specify the kinds of food that one should eat, but rather dictates a schedule for when one should partake, it’s rather more of an eating habit than a diet per se, albeit one that’s quite Spartan in spirit.

Yet, this frugal lifestyle is something that humans are conditioned to adapt to rather well. Throughout the course of human evolution, fasting has been a common-enough practice. Ancient cavemen ate whatever food they could hunt or gather, and when conditions were unsuitable for either, a period of enforced fasting would ensue. Hence, humans have evolved to be able to function without food for prolonged periods of time.

intermittent fasting 3

Perhaps because of that, to this day, fasting continues to have religious and spiritual connotations, with the practice of abstaining from food thought to be purifying for the body and soul in almost all religions, including Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Islam and Buddhism.

Mystical implications aside, the more scientifically-inclined will undoubtedly be happy to hear that intermittent fasting has quite a few proven health benefits. When we fast, our body releases the fat-burning hormone, norepinephrine, which in turn boosts metabolism rates that can lead to weight loss, particularly the much-hated belly fat. Simultaneously, our growth hormone levels increase while insulin levels go down, kicking off cell repair processes that can boost our health in the long run.

intermittent fasting 2

Given all its benefits, it’s not surprising, then, that several different types of intermittent fasting have been devised, and should you be so inclined, here are three of the most popular versions to try:

The 16/8 method: As the name implies, this method restricts your daily eating period to eight hours, say, from 1pm to 9pm. Then you fast for 16 hours in between, skipping breakfast.

Eat-Stop-Eat: This involves fasting for 24 hours, once a week, but having regular meals at regular hours on all other days.

The 5:2 diet: With this method, your calories consumption goes down to a bare minimum of 500-600 calories on two non-consecutive days of the week, but you can eat normally on the other five days.

Text: Suchetana Mukhopadhyay

Thunder Therapy: Is louder weather really what we want when we’re feeling down?

If every time you feel a little down, you slink away to a favoured nook, dim the lights, don the duvet and delve into Dairy Milk dependency then, sorry, but you’ve been doing it all unbelievably wrong. What you really need when you’re feeling a little fragile, wretched or vulnerable is greater exposure to the elements. Preferably the more violent, destructive, high-volume ones – some thunder therapy, if you will.

Thunder therapy trend

In fact, according to research conducted by the Brighton and Sussex Medical School, what you actually need when all around you is gloom and despondency is a storm. A big thundery one with lashings of flashing lightning and a generous helping of torrential rain. Should any naysayer out there doubt this would suffice to set them up for the day, the medical school’s researchers claim to have a little bit of science on their side.

Apparently – and this is supposedly the basis for the suddenly voguish notion of Thunder Therapy – such a surfeit of natural sounds reboots the brain, unclogging your neural pathways and safely depositing you on a sunnier side of the street. Presumably amid one or two largish puddles.

Thunder therapy could lead to better rest

It’s basically “going large” on the long-held belief that bubbling brooks, gentle bird calls and the distant rustle of alfalfa restore the troubled mind, allowing it to commune with nature and instilling the kind of tranquillity traditionally reserved for the recently lobotomised or the long-term lost-at-sea – states-of-mind we all surely covet.

A more plausible explanation for the depression-dispelling qualities of a sudden squall, however, comes courtesy of one online commentator who posited that “aside from the soothing aural properties of thunder, a storm carries with it the connotations of zero obligations”. Translated from Internet-ese, this roughly equates to: “If the weather’s really bad, you can stay in bed, take the day off and eat chocolate digestives in your underpants.” To be fair that might, at least, go some way towards ameliorating many people’s early morning melancholy, while also providing a welcome shot-in-the-arm for the global cocoa-derivative biscuit sector.

Thunder therapy is the latest wellness trend

In the unlikely event that Thunder Therapy should somehow fail to deliver on the losing-the-blues front, there is – thankfully – an even more recently-endorsed alternative: Plank Therapy. Advocates of this believe that being struck repeatedly on the head with a weighty wooden block by a local artisan (or an irritable relative) will help dispel any notion of depression, over-self-consciousness or – if applied enthusiastically enough – consciousness. Its efficacy has probably been testified to by a recent academic study. Probably by the Brighton and Sussex Medical School. And, almost certainly, on the taxpayers’ shilling.

Text: Bailey Atkinson