The urge to compete has been part of the human condition for millennia, and perhaps to satisfy this craving, communities across the world have dreamed up the most perverse games and quirkiest competitions imaginable. To be an offbeat champ, you might need to endure the downright dangerous or excel at the impeccably frivolous. In some cases, bringing people and nations together is the ultimate aim. Prizes on offer are usually insignificant compared to the thrills of the ride as wild wacky wonder is injected into everyday activities.
Toe-curling feat
Britain is something of a hotbed for zany competitions, often invented as a way of fulfilling the national pastime of one-upmanship through an obscure sport or a pastime that marries humour with quirkiness. The World Toe Wrestling Championships, which marked its 50th anniversary last year, is a bout of silliness held near Ashbourne in Derbyshire. Akin to combining elements of arm wrestling and thumb wrestling and applying them to feet, contestants from all over the world step up to lock toes and try to pin their opponent’s foot to the wall of the so-called ‘toedium’. The taking of stimulants is strictly forbidden, as are warts or a foot infection.
In a similar vein, the World Shin-kicking Championships is an annual event at the Cotswold Olimpick Games and can be traced back to 1612. Kick timing and accuracy are all-important for getting on the front foot in what can be an incredibly painful sport.
Whey to go
For sheer craziness, or sheer stupidity, the annual Cheese Rolling at Cooper’s Hill in Gloucestershire takes some beating. An adrenalin-pumping global attraction thought to have its roots in the 15th century, it sees contestants sprint, tumble and hurl themselves down a precipitous drop in pursuit of a hefty wheel of prized Double Gloucester. Needless to say, injuries are commonplace. Apart from bragging rights, the prize for the winner is getting to keep the cheese!
Llanwrtyd Wells in Wales dips into madness every August for the World Bog Snorkelling Championships. This is where plucky entrants swim, usually by doggy paddling as traditional strokes are outlawed, through a water-filled trench cut into a peat bog. Mask, snorkel and flippers add a dash of flash to the murky proceedings.
Another British invention in wackiness that has captured the global imagination is Extreme Ironing. Achieving perfectly pressed garments in hazardous settings, such as under the sea, on mountaintops, or even while skydiving, is certainly for the deft of hand and daft of mind. Competitors are judged on the neatness of their garments and the creativity of their environment.
Side-spitting stunt
Not to be outdone by their cousins across the Atlantic, North America hosts plenty of sporting insanity. Take the International Cherry Pit-Spitting Championships, held in Michigan, in which contestants from all around the world expectorate a cherry stone, with the farthest spat securing the trophy. Denture racks are rumoured to be on hand for those wishing to remove their teeth.
Another food-related niche event is the World Championship Chili Cook-off, held in California by the International Chili Society to determine which cook comes up with the perfect ‘bowl of red’. Later this month at Okanagan College in British Columbia comes the 40th annual Spaghetti Bridge Building Contest, in which entrants build a bridge from scratch, armed with store-bought spaghetti and a glue gun.
Heavy duty
Surely Finland’s most eccentric offering is the Wife-carrying World Championships in which participants carry their wife, or their neighbour’s wife, or a female collaborator borrowed from elsewhere, over a formidable obstacle course laden with pits (both dry and wet) and hurdles. Apparently inspired by the legendary antics of a 19th-century wife-stealing cad, the race requires expert coordination and balance – though the main goal is to have fun and not actually run off with anyone’s partner!
The winning pair receives the wife’s weight in beer – with bonus points and prizes awarded for couples who entertain the crowd, perhaps by carrying the woman upside down, wear splendid costumes, or demonstrate great strength.
Running on plenty
The Marathon du Médoc, held annually amid the beautiful French vineyards of Bordeaux, is more an exercise in indulgence than a sporting contest. Forget water stops and energy drinks, here lavishly attired runners are refuelled with vintage wines and gourmet food, and enjoy the music of full orchestras scattered around the course. Fancy a rest after all that excess? Why not try the National Siesta Championships in Spain, held every year to see who is the best napper!
An intoxicating combination of brain and brawn, Chess Boxing is far more energetic. This fascinating melding into one activity of two seemingly diametrically opposed pastimes – boxing and chess – was founded by a Dutch performance artist. The unusual sport is now popular in many parts of the world, where it challenges enthusiasts to think strategically and keep fit at the same time.
Its country of origin may be disputed – Italy versus Germany – but there is no denying the appeal of the World Beard and Moustache Championships. The location changes each year in this celebration of the most immaculately styled hirsute faces.
Message in a battle
Last held in December in Tunisia, the World Morse Code Championships are an example of how quirky competitions can bring people together. It’s a hugely competitive tournament in which contestants receive, copy and send coded transmissions as fast as possible, yet organiser Ashraf Chaabane, who proudly brought more than 100 high-speed telegraphists to the north African nation, commented that the friendships forged were just as important as the messages deciphered.
Belarus tends to triumph at the event, and their youthful, predominantly female team this time out served to dispel a myth that Morse is a pastime for middle-aged male geeks.
Ugly Birdlings
In most situations, ugliness is not something to brag about, or invoke the admiration of your peers. However, Leisa Elliott, who lives in Birdlings Flat, near Christchurch, New Zealand, achieved both of these last month when she won the second annual World’s Ugliest Lawn competition.
Elliott prefers to leave the garden to its own devices, so despite the presence of a local well, it is Mother Nature who waters the grass. Harsh coastal winds and a dry spell turned her lawn into a sun-scorched eyesore surrounded by verdant cacti. Though this barren patch of land is transformed into an oasis for bellbirds, fantails, finches, blackbirds and starlings when the heavens open, the Kiwi was proud to have triumphed in a global competition that promotes the spirit of sustainability and environmental awareness. The contest was created by the residents of Gotland in Sweden following a garden irrigation ban in 2022.
Tongue in cheek
Creating the ugliest or funniest face is the ultimate aim of the World Gurning Championships, one of the main draws at the Egremont Crab Fair in Cumbria, northern England. For those unfamiliar with the expression, gurning is the knack of pulling grotesque faces, and reportedly it has been celebrated at this market town since the annual fair began 1267. Today the Egremont spectacle attracts visitors from around the world eager to ogle at contestants contorting their faces into the ugliest or silliest look possible. Traditionally, these outlandish visages are framed by a horse collar.
The best gurners are said to have no teeth, as this allows greater facial flexibility and even more comical expressions. Families have developed something of a tradition in the championships, with entrants over the years spanning generations to varying degrees of improvised ugliness.
Baby love
The Naki Sumo Crying Baby Festival is peculiarly unique, distinctly Japanese and designed to ward off evil spirits. Held in an open-air ring at Shinto shrines around the country, two sumo wrestlers face off with a baby in their arms with the infant who bawls first declared the winner. If they start crying simultaneously, the one with the loudest or longest shriek is considered blessed.